If coffee breaks get any longer, some people will be late for quitting time.

To determine who the boss is, notice who's watching the clock during coffee breaks.

Some people say they have nothing to wear; others demonstrate it.

To understand the enormous job of cleaning up the environment, start cleaning out your garage.

Class reunion: where you conclude that most of the people your age seem to be a lot older than you.

Class reunion: where everybody gets together to see who is falling apart.

The mortality rates of both smokers and non-smokers are 100 percent. The only difference is the timing.

You pay twice for cigarettes: when you get them, and when they get you.

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