Erma Bombeck

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Erma Bombeck

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Erma Bombeck

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

Erma Bombeck

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter-productivity.

Erma Bombeck

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Erma Bombeck

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you're fat.

You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.

Doctor Who

Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when used properly.

Doctor Who

The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.

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