Henry Morgan

A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself.

Dick Cavett

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

There was another war-related casualty today: The French were injured when they tried to jump on our bandwagon.

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.

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