Some people just don't know how to drive. I call these people "Everybody But Me."

Try not to let your mind wander... It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

I want to say something positive, but I can't think of anything. Will you take two negatives?

Dave Barry

Under California election law, virtually anybody can run for governor, except, of course, smokers.

Coco Chanel

There are people who have money and people who are rich.

Live everyday like it's your last, 'cause one day you're gonna be right.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. 1st: "I've lost my electron." 2nd: "Are you sure?" 1st: "Yes, I'm positive..."


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