I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
Sanity is a madness put to good use.
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.